Our Story from Start to Beyond the Grave: Hello Again (10)

It was Monday morning, October 7th, 2002, my first day back in California. I so missed sleeping with my Jace*—- last night. It felt so empty in my bed without him next to me and I had such a difficult time falling asleep. It was early but I called him at work. I just needed to hear his voice, hearing it was like a little piece of heaven.

 A few days had passed and we kept in touch talking each night until one of us was ready to go to bed. I loved that his voice was the last thing I would hear before I went to sleep.

On October 10th, when my Jace called I could hear in his voice that he was a broken man. It touched my heart and it was so hard to hear him in such despair. I wanted to be there with him, to hold him and tell him what a wonderful, amazing man he was. Wichita Falls, was like poison to his psyche. He had told me more than once that it has that small-town mentality. Everyone knew each other’s business and was more than happy to spread rumors about the town. That moment brought me back to the night we were having dinner and how he kept looking at the door of the restaurant to see who was walking through it. In fact, thinking about our time there together, whenever we were out in public he seemed on edge. I remember Jace*—- telling me that he had moved 400 miles to get away from his ex-girlfriend, Doreen.

It dawned on me; I had a pretty good idea who it might be that had upset him so much. Whomever it had been, someone in that town had cut him to the bone. Jace*—- didn’t go into details, he rarely did, but he did say in passing that he told his ex to leave him alone. He carried his wounds silently, buried deep within his soul. I tried to talk him through it and I told him that some of the people in that town were small minded and opinionated. I wanted him back in San Angelo, where he did not have to deal with his past. He did so much better there.

Eventually the despair started to lift and with it my heart grew lighter. I hoped that I had helped him to realize that people could be vicious. That the venom they spewed was not a truism of himself but rather themselves. As Jace*—- came out of his depression, he spoke of how I was his solace, his refuge. That I was the only right in a world of wrongs. We spoke of how much we loved each other and that we would be together forever and that we are. The conversation ended with him explaining how he thanked the Cosmos every night for me.

My Jace*—- would remain in Wichita Falls until the Midas store was in order. Thankfully just a few more weeks.  For the rest of his stay in W.F. he would be on an emotional roller coaster. We fell back into the routine of talking on the phone each night. There would be long conversations, some full of despair, some full of laughter, others full of romance and talk of our future. Together we saw it through.

One particular romantic conversation started by a phone call where instead of his voice a song, 7 Spanish Angels by Willie Nelson and Ray Charles played through the receiver. I listened intently:

He looked down into her brown eyes
And said, “Say a prayer for me.”
She threw her arms around him,
Whispered, “God will keep us free.”

They could hear the riders comin’,
He said, “This is my last fight.
If they take me back to Texas,
They won’t take me back alive.”

There were seven Spanish angels at the altar of the sun.
They were prayin’ for the lovers in the valley of the gun.

When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared,
There was thunder from the throne,
And seven Spanish angels took another angel home.

She reached down and picked the gun up
That lay smoking in his hand.
She said, “Father, please forgive me;
I can’t make it without my man.”

And she knew the gun was empty,
And she knew she couldn’t win,
But her final prayer was answered
When the rifles fired again.

There were seven Spanish angels at the altar of the sun.
They were prayin’ for the lovers in the valley of the gun.

When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared,
There was thunder from the throne,
And seven Spanish angels took another angel home.

He spoke, saying that this song reminded him of me and our love. It did have a familiarity to it of past life times that we had shared. Each and every life time we have shared has been incredibly difficult to be separated by death.  Jace*—- said so many loving and beautiful things to me that night. He told how we had seeked each other out, it was something we had planned. He loved how we had made memories and that we just started to make them for there would be so many more. How we had been friends at first, and became lovers. How that had made all the difference in the world. He continued, when my parents conceived me, they produced the most wonderful human being to walk this earth. You can see he had a way with words and talked so beautifully. Now you know why I fell hopelessly in love with my Jace*—-.

San Angelo here comes my love! He returned to San Angelo and his own Midas store on November 2nd.

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