Our Story from Start to Beyond the Grave: Do I detect a little jealousy and concern? (57)

The morning after ugh! No, we aren’t talking about a hangover. We are talking about reality and having to deal with a damaged car. When we got home last night, we really didn’t stop to access the damage of the car. One it was a long way home from Arizona to California going a very slow 45 miles an hour and two, it was dark and we were very tired. So today I had to face the facts and decide what my next moves would be to take.  It was time to put on my big girl panties and check out the damages.

I’d only had the car for about 7 or 8 months. It was not a new model, but it was new to me being only about 3 years old. I was in love with my 2003 Toyota Corolla. When I saw how much damage was done, I knew I had my work cut out for me, but it really wasn’t something that couldn’t be fixed. I had to replace the windshield. That was simple enough. They have people who come to your home and fix it right there. I was able to get that done the first day. I still needed to get the passenger’s front window replace and the passenger’s front fender. My daughter Becky’s boyfriend did some research and got me a good deal at a place in Lawndale. They would replace the window, get a new fender and paint it for $500. That sound like a bargain to me. Only thing was that it would take about 3 or 4 days before I could get it back. For that price I can deal with it. I sent my little car on its way to get its cosmetic surgery to make it pretty again. You may wonder why I didn’t turn it in to my insurance company? No one was involved with the accident, no one was hurt. I didn’t want my insurance to increase.

The 4th day came around and I would be able to pick up my car in the afternoon. But what had been heavy on my mind was what else was wrong with my car. I new that it needed some kind of suspension work, maybe the axel, perhaps an alignment. I knew something about cars. I use to work on race cars with my ex-husband. But that was simple things like brakes and such. This was definitely out of my league. I didn’t have a regular mechanic. I didn’t feel good about going into a mechanic shop and showing my ignorance. Jace*—- always took care of things like this for me. I would take it to a shop and have them talk to him. He knew all about cars and no one would pull one over on him. But that was when we were together and not now we were, well friends that talked once in a while.  For right now I will just pick up my car. I need to use it for a couple of days. Then I will think this whole thing over.

I’ve been asking around if anyone knew of someone that works on suspension, axels etc. No one had any suggestions. I decided to take my car to Pep Boys. Not sure that was the best idea, but at least they are well known. When I got in there, I would take everything into consideration to be able to make a decision. I called to make an appointment and they told me to come in the first of the next week. Time flew by and before I knew it, I was in Pep Boys dropping off my car. They would not make any kind of estimate or blanket cost on what might be wrong with the car. The mechanic would go over it and get back to me. Sigh ok. This is like sitting on pins and needles. I have no idea what I’m looking at, or how much it will cost. Worst yet would it be something I had no idea about and would they take advantage of that.  The “call” came the next morning. They had to hold it over night as they had to check a few more things out. It needed suspension work, a new axel as it was bent, an alignment and well a whole lot of other things that I had no idea what they were talking about. My mind was in a whirlwind. This was going to be very expensive and what did it all mean. I asked them to hold on to the car and I would get back to them in a few hours. Reluctantly they agreed. What was I going to do? Who could I talk to about this? I could only think of one person. Someone, who I always turned to when he was a part of my life. Something I would never do with any other man.

After fighting with myself. I made the phone call.

Hello Jace*—-

Hey Babe, Good to hear from you

I’m not so sure you will feel that way after I ask you for this favor.

What’s wrong Cindy? You know I’m here for you anytime.

I really appreciate that. I was in an accident on the way back from Arizona.

Are you ok? Are you hurt?

No, I wasn’t hurt. I just have a small cut on my pinky, but I didn’t even need stitches.

You were in Arizona? Was there anyone else in the car?

(I knew when he asked if there was anyone else in the car, he had thought I went to Arizona to meet another man. A couple of things that Jace*—- did not realize was that I only went to meet one man and it was him. I had never done that before nor would I ever have done it again.  Also, I had no intention to get involved with anyone again. The pain was to much and most of all I still loved him so very much and no one, and I mean no one could ever replace him.)

Yes, Angie and her boyfriend.

(You could hear the relief in his voice. I think he figured that if I had the kids along, I wouldn’t have gone to meet a man.)

Are they ok? Did either of them get hurt?

They are fine. I was the only one that got injured. It was pretty much a miracle. The car didn’t fair so well. That’s the favor I have to ask you.

(He let out the breath that he had been holding in fear that they were hurt. He definitely felt much happier knowing that we were all safe.)

That’s a good thing. Happy all are well. Name it, what can I do for you, Babe?

I went on to tell him about the accident and all of the damage done to the car. Then I told him that the car was at Pep Boys and read off all the things that was wrong with it. I explained to him that I was not knowledgeable about that area of a car. He knew and was impressed with what I did know about cars. We would talk about it when we spent hours on the phone each night when we were together. He was a manager at Midas Automotive Shop and we would talk about cars that came in there. After I was done explaining he said, “I will call them and tell them that I am your fiancé and to deal with me about the car. I will get all the specs and info I need to know if indeed it is what you really need and I will try to get you the best price I can, although Pep Boys don’t give you much leeway.”  I thanked him and he said he would get right on it.

The next few days while things were getting fixed on my car, there were many phone calls between Jace*—- and I. He was most helpful, but then that was Jace*—-.  It truly had remained a constant with us. He was always there. Even when we broke up he had given me a standing invitation to come to his home anytime I felt like getting away. Through our conversations during this time he asked me why did I go to Arizona? That was when I realized he thought it was probably to meet a man. In his thoughts was if she wanted to get away why wouldn’t she just come here? I told him I always wanted to go to Arizona to see Tombstone. He understood that. But it gave a good chance for him to slip in an invitation to Texas. He said, “Next time babe, why don’t you come down here to Texas? I’d love to show you Texas in the spring time. I told him thank you and that I would let him know. He was silent for a minute, and sort of like disappointed he said ok. Usually when he invited me to come down, I would say when? I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I still just wasn’t sure. I loved to talk with him more. It just felt good to have him in this way back in my life. Above all it felt safe.

Next the calls become more frequent.

This says it all with my Jace*—- and me

All On Me

Devin Dawson

 Yeah I know that the woes and the weight of the world

Can get in side our minds and be too much sometimes, I know

But baby don’t let the no’s and the ups and the downs

From the roller coaster ride beat you up inside, baby don’t

But if you ever feel that way, don’t you ever hesitate, cause

[Chorus]

You got my number you can call on me

If you’re in trouble put the fall on me

When you’re mad you can take it out on me

When it don’t add up you can count on me

When you’re low come get high on me

Make it slow take your time on me

Said let, let it out

Come and lay on me

When it gets heavy put the weight on me

Baby put it all on me

Put it all on me

[Verse 2]

Wanna take you out on the town on my dime anytime, tell me when you’re free

We can do anything and everything you want yeah

Oh I wanna hear all your fears and your troubles

Strip it down, really get to know one another

When it’s nobody but you and me just us

Girl you know I’m here for you

You can lean on me anytime you need to

[Chorus]

You got my number, you can call on me

If you’re in trouble put the fall on me

When you’re mad you can take it out on me

When it don’t add up you can count on me

When you’re low come get high on me

Make it slow take your time on me

Said let, let it out

Come and lay on me

When it gets heavy put the weight on me

Baby put it all on me

Girl put it all on me

[Bridge]

C’mon relax your mind on me

When you need a shoulder you can cry on me

Baby you can bet your life on me

Put it all on me

[Chorus]

You got my number, you can call on me

If you’re in trouble put the fall on me

When you’re mad you can take it out on me

When it don’t add up you can count on me

When you’re low come get high on me

Make it slow take your time on me

Said let, let it out

Come and lay on me

When it gets heavy put the weight on me

Baby put it all on me

Yeah baby put it all on me, yeah

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