Our Story from Start to Beyond the Grave: (58)

Bonus 1st Thanksgiving

As I set here writing about my Thanksgiving for my Blog To Know me is to Know my family, going through all of the Thanksgiving with fond memories, I realized that I hadn’t written about the First Thanksgiving with Jace*—-. So forgive me this is out of sequence in the story, but I thought it might be worth writing.

I had known my Jace*—- for only about a few months. He had asked me to send him a picture of me more than a few times, as I had asked him to send me one of him. I finally promised him that I would go to Wilderness Park on Thanksgivings and have Angie do a photo shoot. All we had to go on was our description of each other. Jace*—- was comical and not very flattering about the way he described himself. I described myself as sort of a Plain Jane. I was so nervous about sending him a picture. I was sure that he would take one look and never contact me again.

He planned to stay at home on Thanksgiving and watch football. It was just another day to him. Here are a few emails we sent back and forth that day.

Subj  xxxxxx and oooooo’s

11/22/2001

To Rumpld4skn@aol.com

Good Morning Love,

It’s a beautiful morning here, my heart is full of love for you and song…… Today I am off to take some pics for my honey (you) lol….. Hope something makes me look desirable to you…… Hope all is right in the Kosmos for you Darlin’……. Make the most of your day as you always do…… another new song that reminds me of you……. Drowning by the Backstreet Boys……. I know that some people don’t like them but I will leave you with a few words from the song.

‘cause every time I breathe

I take you in

And my heart beats again

Baby, I can’t help it

You keep me

Drowning in your love

Everytime I try to rise above

I’m swept away by love

Baby I can’t help it

You keep me

Drowning in your love

Kisses from the heart,

Cindy

Subj hello

11/22/2001

To mermaid338@aol.com

Hi babe,

Thank you for the email……I slept until noon….. been watching football, just kicking back….. reading poetry of Rilke, during the commercials…… hope the photo shoot is going well….. I can’t wait for the pictures!!!!!! Well back to the game….. Redskins are winning

I love you…..

XXXOOO

Jace*—-

Subj  Re: hello

11/22/01

To Rumpldrskn@aol.com

Hi Love,

Hope the redskins win, that is if that is what you want……I’m still trying on clothes, putting on make up, and well just trying to look good…… but I love you and I’m going out soon now to take the pics….. you realize this is a true act of love….. miss you baby as always….. listen to Hero by Enrique Eglasias or something like that lol….. it’s you honey…. My hero….I love you again. I can’t say it enough

Kisses

Cindy

Supj  just a poem

11/22/01

Rumpld4skn@aol.com

This poem by Rilke, reminds me of you…. It’s from the “Sonnets to Orpheus”

“Silent friend of many distances, feel

How you breath enlarges all of space

Let your presence ring out like a bell

Into the night. What feeds upon your face

Grows mighty from the nourishment offered.

Move through transformation, out and in.

What is the deepest loss you have suffered?

If drinking is bitter, change yourself to wine.

In this immeasurable darkness, be the power

That round your senses in their magic ring,

The sense of their mysterious encounter.

And if the earthly no longer knows your name

Whisper to the silent earth; I’M FLOWING.

To the flashing water say, I AM.”

For you are a force to be reckoned with…… celebrate yourself, every day that you exist, as you are certainly worthy of the best of life!!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jace*—–

Subj hello, my love

11/29/01

Mermaid338@aol.com

Hello love,

Your pictures arrived today…..and to allay your insecurities, I love them!!!!! My only questions are:

Will you love me unconditionally?

Will you support me and my decisions, and will we work as a team?

Will you care for me always?

And will you love yourself, as I love you??????

Loving you and waiting for your reply….

XXXXOOOOO

Jace*—–

Subj: Re; hello, my love

11/29/01

Rumpld4skn@aol.com

Jace*—- My Love,

The questions that you pose to me are not taken lightly….. Loving you unconditionally is so easy to do, your so loveable and special to me…..  Working as a team…… yes…… Supports your decisions….. I believe I can….. Always care for you…… I will always love you…… now….. my love……love myself as you do…… Jace*—- that is a hard one…… I’m working on it……. It will take time….. I hope to chat with you or talk with you tonight….. I miss you

I love you

Cindy

And as you will find out if you continue to follow my blog, I have kept those promises….. even into his passing we still are in contact and the love continues

Next Hawaii and missing my love

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