As the sun came up on day two, I woke up to a sleeping Jace*—- cuddling very closely to me. His arms surrounded me. He seemed very content. I just laid there, trying to decide if I wanted to get up and start the new day or just remain in his arms, hoping for the best to come out of this trip. It wasn’t long and he started to wake, pulling me closer, kissing me on my neck and whispering, “I love you Cindy Beel. This is the best way to start my day.” I’m not sure that he realized that I was awake, but I stirred right away in his arms, turning around and kissing him good morning. It is a new day and hopefully it would lend more promise than yesterday.
After having some fun in bed, we got up, got dressed and went to breakfast. Jace*—- always had a fishing rod ready to go, so after some discussion we went out to Twin Buttes and went fishing. As I sat there watching my Jace*—- listening to the water lap onto the shore, I thought of all the reasons why I loved this man, how I always felt so safe with him, and knew that at one time he would always have been there for me no matter what the situation happened to be. I couldn’t fight my feelings, and yet would he or we ever get back to that space or even in a better place. He looked over at me as if he was thinking, is this city girl liking the peace and solitude of fishing. Even though I had told him over our time together, I had wanted to leave California since the age of 17, he wondered if I would not miss it. Little did he understand that I longed for a simple life, away from crowds, hustle and bustle, traffic gridlock and so many other things. He stated that my face was red from the heat. Was I drinking enough water? Then he took out sun block that he had brought along, of which he did not put on his shirtless body, and put a little in his hands placing it on my arms and so carefully put on my face. Then he went back to his truck which was only a few feet away and grabbed his straw cowboy hat. Jace*—- put my hair behind my ears, then placed the hat on my head. He took a step back looking at me with those beautiful eyes and said, “That’s better. Are you a little cooler now?” With a big smile on his face he said, “You look so darn cute, with a cowboy hat on. Someday soon I will buy you the light blue cowboy boots I’ve had my eyes on for you. Not to long after that he received a phone call from Cletus inviting us to a barbeque at his place tonight, telling Jace*—- to invite his neighbor Randy to come along as well. He put It on mute and asked if I would mind going and I said sure let’s go. That would prove to be a mistake.
We went back to the apartment with no fish in hand. Jace*—– had caught a few and released them for another day. We took turns showering for the nights get together. I often thought of taking a shower with my Jace*—- but being modest, I could never get up enough nerve. If I ever would have expressed my thoughts to Jace*—- he would have for sure made it happen right there on the spot.
We ate and it was very tasty. We continued the get together in the front room. It was a casual conversation, when Cletus asked Jace*—-, “Have you heard from that girl you left Cindy for again?” Jace’s*—- mouth dropped open. You could see that he was upset. He replied, “You know that I haven’t talked to her since we broke up.” He then said he wanted to talk to Cletus out back. He excused himself. I was left there feeling like I had once again been stabbed in the heart. It was plain to see that I was upset. Randy came over to me and said, “Cindy, do not let Cletus upset you. He was being an ass and just wanted to cause problems.” I heard him but, in my heart,, I thought, yeah bros stick together. This was becoming clearly a mistake. I got out my phone and started to call a cab. I intended to get a ride, wait for it outside, rent a hotel and that would be the end of us. Randy saw me calling a cab and gently took the phone from me. He told the dispatcher to hold on. He looked at me and said, “Don’t make this mistake Cindy. I live right next to the guy. He knows he made a mistake and has been miserable for months. He truly loves you Cindy. Cletus does not like to share Jace*—-. Don’t let him win. Don’t walk away without giving him this week to prove himself.” I cancelled the cab. When Jace*—- and Cletus came back in he took my hand and said, “Cindy we are leaving.” He looked at Randy and asked if he wanted to come along. Randy nodded yes. Cletus looked on as we went towards the door saying I’ll talk with you later. Jace*—- didn’t answer.
Conversation was not happening on the way home. Tension was high in the car. We got to the apartment and made our way upstairs. Randy said goodnight. Behind closed doors, Jace*—- took my hands into his hands, looking into my eyes, he apologized for what had taken place. He led us to the couch and told me that his relationship with that women had been over since March. I listened, I tried to hear what he had said with an open heart, but coupled with what I had walked into the day before, I just didn’t know what to think. I listened to the words of Randy and decided that I would give Jace*—- the week. I would then make my decision. We went to bed where Jace*—- just held me. I think he sensed tonight was not the night for love making. I can tell you he held on to me all night long.
Next day 3
I was aware that my daughter Debbe had been abused by her boyfriend in the past. I was mistaken and she had also been abused the day in question. I apologize.