Our Story from Start to Beyond the Grave: (#82) The Last Time we Spoke

February 7th, 2006

It was night time when I received a call from Jace*—-. That’s not unusual, most of our calls were late at night. Often, we loved to be able to hear each’s other’s voice last thing before we went to asleep. However, since our argument, calls were not as often as usual. I was so excited to receive his call. I missed not having our nightly ritual. When I heard his voice my heart sang, but yet I felt sadness in his voice. I hated it when he was down and depressed because I felt I should be closer by to help him through those times. He also felt the same about me, as he would always say babe do you want to come to Texas for a while and be with me. Unfortunately, I could not always go up there anytime I would like because I was working as a preschool teacher at the time. As the conversation continued, he told me he just was not in a good place. He had made a mistake moving from his apartment, yet he felt he had little to no choice as the job he had at Firestone on Concho in San Angelo was not giving him high volume jobs. They kept throwing mostly Oil Changes at him and there is no money in that. He was getting angry with his boss because he was on his ass all the time. While discussing this later in our chat he mentioned, “Well, if he is on my ass, he is leaving others alone.” I could tell he was having very dark thoughts, but I had hoped that because he was staying with Cletus that he would pick up on it and do his best to help him through it. I was trying to do all I could do from California. I even offered for him to come live with me in California once again but he said the same thing that he would never make it out here.  At one point he took Cletus’s dog out to go to the bathroom. Cletus and his wife had gone out for the evening and Jace*—- had the freedom to say what he needed to say. During his time outside he dropped his phone and we lost connection. I usually waited for him to call back when one of our phones would drop connection, but not tonight. I immediately called him back. He picked it up after a couple of rings. I said, “I lost you.” He said, you’ll never lose me baby. I will find you no matter where you are. You just saved me. It’s dark out here and I couldn’t see my phone. When I heard your ring tone it led me right to it.” I asked, “What is my ring tone precious?” He answered, “Love Story.” To know that meant the world to me. Toward the end of our conversation, he told me that maybe he was trying to tell me that it was time to cut me loose. That he didn’t want me involved with where his thoughts were taking him. I quietly started crying. I though I was being quiet enough that he couldn’t hear me cry. Jace*—- asked if I was crying and I said yes. He was like don’t cry baby we had a good run. I never have been loved like you have loved me and you are the best time I’ve ever had. I felt he was not letting go because of anger or that he didn’t love me anymore but that he was trying to spare me from any bad decisions that he may make in the near future. But I was in it for the long haul. Isn’t that what love was all about? I loved him for the Jace*— he was with me. I didn’t care about what came before or anything else but what we shared together. I truly felt that together we could make it though anything. What one lacked the other made up for, be were truly whole together and loved each other unconditionally. I told him I didn’t know that I could let go and that he was a part of me. Together we made one. He said, “Okay baby, just remember no matter what I love you and always will.”

That would be the last time I would hear his voice.

In remembrance

Love Story

Where do I begin

To tell the story of how great a love can be

The sweet love story that is older than the sea

The simple truth about the love she brings to me

Where do I start

With her first hello

She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine

There’d never be another love, another time

She came into my life and made the living fine

She fills my heart

She fills my heart with very special things

With angels’ songs, with wild imaginings

She fills my soul with so much love

That anywhere I go, I’m never lonely

With her around, who could be lonely

I reach for her hand-it’s always there

How long does it last

Can love be measured by the hours in a day

I have no answers now but this much I can say

I know I’ll need her till the stars all burn away

And she’ll be there

How long does it last

Can love be measured by the hours in a day

I have no answers now but this much I can say

I know I’ll need her till the stars all burn away

And she’ll be there

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