The plans we made were magical. Anyway, it felt that way to me. How some day we would live together, sharing a space, how we would decorate our home, what I would bring to it and what he wanted to have in it. One of the things Jace*—- wanted was his Grandparents kitchen table. It had sentimental value to him. His initials were craved in it. He said the he caught hell that day from his Grandma. Many a good meal was served on that table made by his Grandma. Then there was the time that he brought his hunt, a Heron to the kitchen for his Grandma to cook. He was a young boy and wanted to contribute to his Grandparents family. Check blog entry 44 for that story in more detail. There were celebrations and funerals where people gathered at that table as well. He also got many a talking to while he sat patiently and with respect from his Grandparents. He also received great words of advice given to him, some asked for, while others, were offered whether he wanted them or not. So, you can see the table provided many memories that he cherished. It would have a place of honor in our home with his initials still present, and very worn because it meant the world to him. One of the things he asked me to bring was my seashells. I knew of course he loved the ocean, but I was kind of surprised by that request, it seemed so simple, but then Jace*—- loved nature. Making plans made it real. It was the future I hoped for and dreamed about.
Shortly before I was to go to see my Jace*—- he had a medical emergency. It seemed that he was vomiting blood. He told me after the fact and after seeing the Doctor. You knew that Jace*—- must be concerned when he went to the Doctor as he hated anything to do with them. He was diagnosed with bleeding ulcers. They gave him medication and told him he would have to give up drinking and smoking. Not an easy thing for him to do. So, he decided to give up drinking first. He told his sister Jene about his illness and asked her to keep it a secret, especially from his mom. Jace*—- would stop drinking cold turkey, as they say, and seemed to be handling it.
I arrived in San Angelo with my love waiting for me. As usual I rushed into his arms, where I was greeted with a passionate kiss and a very long hug. He picked up my luggage and off we went to his apartment. Since renewing our commitment, our love was stronger, he was different in some ways, I guess more at peace with us together. This time we spent together, was different. All he spoke about was our future. He was so determined, so looking forward to our union. Every time we would go into a store, he would pick something up and say should we buy this for our home? Not only was it endearing, but it became a fact, something I could count on. It was a big step for both of us. I would be leaving my family behind and a place I had live for all but 11 months of my life. Some how this commitment seemed more real, sincere then my other 2 marriages. To hear him talk like this was so unlike the Jace*—- I first met. Talk about a shift, this was major for both of us.
I had already started the process of packing back at home. I had a whole wall devoted to boxes stacked against it for moving day. It was an ongoing job. Angie had gotten a job transfer inline to move there as well. She was to get married in November 2005. Jace*—- came up with the date for our move to San Angelo, February 2006. I wanted to get there soon, but also knew that it would take a lot of work and money to make it happen that soon.
One evening while we were watching television Jace*—- got a call from his mom. I sat by his side hearing a one-sided conversation. She got on him about his health. It was obvious that Jene had told her about Jace’s*—- bleeding ulcer. His mom did not come out and say that she knew what was wrong with him, but she alluded to the fact she knew he was ill. Jace*—- denied it, changing the subject saying Cindy is here visiting. I had never met his mom but knew of their history from Jace*-. She asked him what we had been doing since I arrived and where he had been taking me. He told her fishing and she made the comment that I was from Los Angeles. Fishing was not something I would enjoy. Little did she know. She then went on telling him how he should take me to other places more sophisticated. I’ve never been a person that was impressed with money or had to be taken to expensive places. I feel uncomfortable and out of place there. I’m just a simple girl who wants to have fun and spend time with my man. Before I knew it, he was handing me the phone saying she wants to talk with me. Ugh, last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like a teenager meeting the parent for the first time. She asked how long I had been there and how long I was going to stay. What we had been doing and to tell him what I wanted to do because he didn’t have a clue. I told her I was happy just being by his side. As long as we were together it didn’t matter what we did. Then she asked about his illness. She said, “I know what he has and I know you do to so tell me.” I denied knowing what he had as I would never betray a confidence that he told me. Poor Jace*—- was now pacing back and forth in front of me. When she realized she would not get the answer she wanted from me she asked to speak with Jace*—-. He no longer wanted to speak to her and told her he had to go. He was very upset. He said, he didn’t like the way she questioned me. I told him it was ok, that I could hold my ground. He laughed at that and said, “So I noticed.” He was afraid her grilling me would make me fold to her pressure. I told him I would never betray him and to this day I never have.
Next time more time spent in San Angelo then back to Cali to finish up wedding plans.